I’m a draft junkie. Specifically, I’m an NFL draft junkie. There is just something addictive to following the many storylines involved in this bizarre million-dollar, life-altering pageant for a modern-day gladiator sport. Any storyline you can think of, it’s a part of the NFL draft.
The kid who packed into a van with his seven siblings every Friday after school to drive a few hundred miles in order to spend the entire weekend cleaning multistory office buildings and drive back home in time to be dropped off at school Monday morning.
The kid who first played football in high school after a late growth spurt. The kid who needed the violent outlet to keep from hurting himself and others off the field. The Liberian kid who grew up in a refugee camp. The foreign exchange student from Austria. The kid who played football every Friday night as his mother battled through cancer from the sidelines.
The underdogs. The entitled. The naturally gifted. The weight-room warriors. The bullies. The bullied. The downtrodden and the poor…all about to become filthy rich. Stinking, ugly, rich.
I mean, even “Mr. Irrelevant” (the guy drafted with the very last pick of the draft) has a very real possibility of making millions. Mr. Irrelevant from 2017 (Chad “Machine Gun” Kelly) signed a four-year, $2.464 million contract that included a $64,270 signing bonus… before he was waived in October of 2020 after being arrested on a charge of first-degree criminal trespassing. (You can’t make this stuff up.) The player selected first overall in the 2021 draft (Trevor Lawrence) was projected by Spotrac to receive nearly $37 million in his first contract, including a $24.2 million signing bonus (before throwing a single pass).
All of the storylines lead up to one event: draft night. It’s the ultimate playground line up. All the kids are now dressed in fancy suits and surrounded by their families (who suddenly are 100% supportive). But on the inside, you know each and every one of them is shouting the same thing we’ve always shouted when left in this situation: “Pick me! Pick me!” We stand on our tippy toes or puff out our chests to look a bit taller, a bit sturdier. Maybe we raise a hand. Maybe we play it off cool. On the inside we might be repeating a mantra of self-confidence…or maybe one of self-defeat. In the enduring words of Ace Ventura, “I'm ready to go in, Coach, just give me a chance. I know there's a lot riding on it, but it's all psychological. Just gotta stay in a positive frame of mind.”
Just give me a million dollar chance. It’s the age-old rags to riches (and then often back to rags) story that gets me every time. Or as Homer Simpson would put it, “In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.” Then, inevitably, it rains on your pile of sugar, and you lose it all. Meh. It was a fun spectacle none the less. And in between the drafts, I can coach my youngest son on the finer arts of being an NFL punter. (The best punters make over $2,000,000 a year for kicking a ball and jogging after it with a semi-valid expression of menace on their face. It’s totally a sweet gig.)
At the Desk This Week
Easter is nearly here. Crazy. It’s mid-April and Idaho is finally getting quality snow. I guess that will learn me for getting my shorts out and putting away my winter clothes. As you can guess, I haven’t been doing much writing. I have been tutoring my son who has been doing some quality writing. He’s gone through a bit of a crisis with his first manuscript now though. He claims to no longer like fantasy, so he’s starting on a sci-fi project. I guess that’s what I get for encouraging him to read Ender’s Game.
If you want to start reading the Lost DMB Files…
[Click here for an introduction by Jim Buckner]
[Start with the introduction to the series.]
Thanks so much for taking the time to read Twitch and Die!, Season Four of the Lost DMB Files. I’ll be publishing FREE daily scenes from the Lost DMB Files until…I die…or something terrible happens. Seriously, I’ve got over 400 scenes written so far, and I’ll be writing more until the story reaches its natural ending. You are totally welcome to read the entire story for FREE! If at any point you decide you would rather finish the story in ebook or print format, just click the buttons below and you can do that as well. If you enjoy reading the serial releases, BUT you would also like to support me as a writer (my kids need wine!) please subscribe to my premium content for bonus scenes, exclusives, and insider access to my process. And of course, I’d be grateful if you would share this post with any of your reader friends who you think would enjoy the Lost DMB Files. Happy reading!