If I have to click on all the images that contain a bicycle one more time…and what about the image with the “no bicycles” sign? Does that count as a bicycle? And then you get to the last bicycle image, and when you click the picture it puts up three more in a row with a bicycle just so that it can get you in the pattern of clicking before it gives you one without a bicycle. You click on it because you’ve been conditioned to do so, and then you have to start all over. That alone should be proof I’m not a robot. Do robots throw their keyboard against the wall? Do robots exclaim “oh for the love of…[mumble, mumble, mumble]?
I mean, I understand why I’m being tested to see if I’m a robot these days. But you’re telling me that clicking on images of bicycles is the hardest thing for robots to do? Then there is the image of the bus—the one big bus, and the prompt tells you to select all the squares with buses. You select every square, because the picture is literally a picture of a big bus. I at least passed that one on the first try. And I suppose I understand how a robot might look at all the individual images and think, “clearly none of these are buses.”
But then you get the one with motorcycles, and there is that one tiny, little fraction of the motorcycle in one of the squares. Do you select it? Or are you overthinking it? And what exactly is the definition of a motorcycle these days? What about one of those electric fat tire bikes? That’s a cycle with a motor. Or how about the Nampa classic? You know the old-school version of a bicycle with something like a model airplane motor attached to it. The kind that makes it a little easier to smoke once you get up to speed.
A moped? A scooter? I don’t know, are these motorcycles? If I select all the squares containing anything with wheels and a motor, am I gonna be reported as some sort of cyborg idiot? Not really human, not really robot? And when I have to perform the CAPTCHA three different times, does that mean I’m on my third strike? Or was I gonna get three different tests either way? Because sometimes I could swear I get it right and it gives me another one anyway. Like it’s just messing with me. I feel like a robot would just put up with that kind of behavior. As a human, am I supposed to just start clicking everything in a fit of click rage? “Robot this, you piece of &*#^^%!”
That should be a clear enough indication of my humanity. Or the CAPTCHA could just ask me who I’m voting for in this upcoming election, and when I select none of the above it would know I’m human. Right? (Oh, don’t go and get all human on me. It was just a joke.)
From the Desk of DMB
I started off strong this week, and then got sick. Covid’s legacy. Every time I get a little stomach bug now, I stay up all night and morning dry heaving. What ya gonna do? But I think I’ve narrowed in on having the storyline take place over two weeks. Originally, I thought I was going to develop the main relationship between protag and sage for a couple months. But it made every interaction feel more urgent to speed it along and cram it into a couple week time frame. And when you are thirteen, I think a couple weeks can be a long time in a way that it can’t be for an adult. So for now, that’s how I’m gonna roll. We’ll see where it takes me!
If you want to start reading the Lost DMB Files…
[Click here for an introduction by Jim Buckner]
[Start with the introduction to the series.]
Thanks so much for taking the time to read Twitch and Die!, Season Four of the Lost DMB Files. I’ll be publishing FREE daily scenes from the Lost DMB Files until…I die…or something terrible happens. Seriously, I’ve got over 400 scenes written so far, and I’ll be writing more until the story reaches its natural ending. You are totally welcome to read the entire story for FREE! If at any point you decide you would rather finish the story in ebook or print format, just click the buttons below and you can do that as well. If you enjoy reading the serial releases, BUT you would also like to support me as a writer (my kids need wine!) please subscribe to my premium content for bonus scenes, exclusives, and insider access to my process. And of course, I’d be grateful if you would share this post with any of your reader friends who you think would enjoy the Lost DMB Files. Happy reading!